In A Mood Today by:J.A. Burror

I'm in a mood today, seems along time coming. A bit overdo in the judgement call of the making. But nevertheless it's happening. I'm talking about starting with Justice, for me I would call it Karma starting to give back. I know in life each has are own fights, we all have are wants, desires. It's all in each of our lives. I know other times it seemed as a person might have got the hint to grow up and act as she should. But each time I noticed she had no notion of right or wrong, no real truth of any wrongdoing done to her. Meaning because if you follow her and disagreed. Fill free to leave this space, I am writing my thoughts. Not in hurting nor in warning. But letting out what I feel that I have this need to share.

I mean no disregards of the law system in another country. But I do not, never have understood why it took so long for a Guilty to be PUNISHED. I can only go off what I have been told, what I read, what I feel, What I believe as the truth. I do not know the whole story behind this evil game that a Female (I dare never call her a woman). I have higher standers for that word then what this Female has shown to be.

I'm so happy with the news that came out and feel like eating cake. But I'll Freeze it to save because I know it's just one case. This Female has brought about so many. If you can't prove one, start another to confuse the judge. If that doesn't work prey on the public attention to pull for more time. Make false claims, following up with falsifying evidence thrown to the public as a circus of lies to be played. All in hopes of taring a mans good name down. Trying their best to also tie in others into the lies to make them more believable. But to no avail. Why because those around know of this person and her ways and know the game she's greedily playing. All the wile using a child, unborn and now born. Meanwhile there was only one child born, all other claims were fake or can't be proven by a Doctor of any kind. There was ONE Abortion but with other story's about who free with her love she was, no telling really who the Father was.

Recap if you are reading this and didn't know I will share what I have noticed about this case. There's a strong since of wrong doing. Spilling out of the mouths of the ones that started this game. I call it a game, others call it a Drama. And as such people make jokes about getting more popcorn and candy for the Drama. I can't play around with a Mans life, his family's lives, his friends lives, even his fan's lives. Human rights for each person Otto to mean something in this world without picking on someone being pushed down.

Being taught to be what you are, growing to become who you are. Aren't always the same roles we live up to in life. We all have that voice within ourselves telling us right and wrong. Now when you listen to it or not that's a different ball game. To play a money game of sorts, boiling someone like a soup. In hopes of getting the cash in the end. Lying to make you feel your greed is justified.

This list is what I remember off hand I am sorry if I forgot something this Female and her family have done. It's just so much that I hurt and really do cry when I think about the pain the Kim family has had, been and will forever have because of a selfish girl. So I tend to ramble on when I'm pissed off at someone. And for the longest time it's been her. Really doubt I'll ever change my mind on believing she ever had any good about her. She's tainted my view point of ever seeing her as a good person, or her family. I do not mean the child, because it is no fault of the child that a creature like her happens to be blood. Please feel free to comment and share anything I missed about this family's in noway legal acts. I have copied a few important notes on this case and will share the endless lies. But they're are only a few I'm highlighting that are so twisted in my mind. I'm not alone in seeing this Female for the greedy gold digger she appears to be. I have also posted some sites that do a great job in keeping up with all the news and there are so many I can't share them all. Because I do not know them all, I just know the truth is spreading like a wild fire and it's covering over the globe. He now has so many more fans then ever before, and the ones that made their choice to leave are slowly returning. Releasing the truth and the laws seem to only be on his side. By this I mean the truth of justice is making it's way thru despite the lying game for greed.

LazerKim

All about Kim Hyun Joong

https://bibettesia.wordpress.com/2016/03/19/kim-hyun-joong-article-case-review/
 I really like this girl. she writes with facts and tells you her thoughts on what's happening.

     This Female is Choi Hye Mi  
 I didn't find this out from a fan in South Korea, know she came out herself. Then played a hiding game where no one heard from her. Even the Judge wasn't keen on her playing around with coming out, then showing up only to try to hide. As if she was a top star, we all knew she wasn't shy when the cameras were on. Her lawyer tried to make it seem as he told everyone of her name. But her lawyer must have not be able to keep his client under control. She started coming out so long before, it's just he asked for respect for her. Not to make it knows, because he has always said that he would never come forward with a girl if he wasn't serious with her. (Wanting to still keep her name a secret meant he wasn't planning on marriage, nor wanted to taint her name in the public eye.) But she came out, and started to talk about marriage not only to his family but went to the press once again.)

     Choi Hye Mi Own Mother  
 Made that comment about boiling him like a soup. I'll have to ask about the name, but the soup she is talking about I'm sure I won't be trying it anytime in my near lifetime. To put up that 'you have to figure out how to get the most out of him. And endure it tell the end'. That was her words to her own kid of how to use a man, for money. Great motherly advice to give her kid that got dumped and they only saw the bank account of his.

   Choi Hye Mi is being charged with, rather the law is looking into her for:
Blackmail

Hyunnies Pexers's Blog

 https://hyunniespexers.wordpress.com/2016/04/23/tweetbits-kim-hyun-joong-legal-case-updates-2016-04-22/
This is some great tweets from the time line of this on going battle this female has to take a mans money.

Abuse/ Assault  Don't know if this one, she is even with proof of her backing into someones house and assaulting him with her own sister. Same sister she wanted to have as a witness of him beating her 'till death, almost' the very time of her assaulting him. With camera proof of her backing the door, interning and then being pushed out as she was attacking him. She thinks she was assaulted even when he was left with a torn clothes, his blood showing, and scares left on him from the assault she commented onto him.
(But she never said anything about what she had he, Makes me wonder if her anger over being doped wasn't the only time she was violent towards another)
On this note she always brought up a name and wanted to publicly tie in a another person that he was with at this time. She was mad, I get that she cot her ex that clearly moved on, passed her ways. 

Banned from leaving the Country she's in and Bank Account is Frozen As far as I know everyone I spoke to about this topic about her leaving the country. As the lies started to come out of her wrong doing. People started to fear she would leave the country, she went into a hiding mode for a time. Coming back with public interviews and flake claims once again, in hopes of confusing the truth people saw and hopes no one would care about her lies if she played up the poor victim act.

http://asianwiki.com/Kim_Hyun-Joong

 Choi Hye Mi
Jul 30, 2015 ... In midst of Kim Hyun Joong's case with his former girlfriend identified as Miss Choi, past texts have been revealed through Dispatch.
But where found to be false and put out of order in such away to look poorly on him and moreover some where not ever texts to her. So Question of mine, how did she get these privet messages if they were not sent to her? he is a person known for changing her cells all the time for private reasons. I feel he will most likely have a better way to help protect him in the further from such a criminal. 

While she stated with a text message and picture that 'this is your baby'. Who in their right mind would believe a person that had been trying to blackmail them about that said child. He wanted a test done as soon as there could be one. Which means the child doesn't have to be born to have a DNA test to pinpoint who the daddy is. She said no at every turn and all the help that was given she turned to the press. Telling a different story then what really was going on. She even went with him and his Mother and wouldn't let anyone in the room to see the baby picture. Why?, Because she wouldn't let her own dad in. How did she ever get to be with child to begin with, if no one really was aloud to look at at lest her stomach? When she came out, no paperwork of the right time, and get this No Name!!! If this had been my son with his ex I would know no more questions or doubts of the entrapment she was trying to pull.

Then the birth came, and she hide it from the said Father.She hind the date, didn't know the blood type of her said baby. And once more the Questions started to come out about if she did give birth. She went into hiding once again, this time a merging with a new face. A face make over was clearly done and what's more is she was trying to cash in on her fame. As a Model, but sadly for her the make over didn't stop her lying ways and didn't seem to change her own conscious.All the wile never letting him nor his family see the baby even once. I remember reading a statement from his Father that read: 'We just want to know if the child is healthy, if it's a boy or a girl'.

 Choi Hye Mi
  Another case was brought up, after news came that he stated publicly. 'All tho there might be a child, There will not be any getting back together'. I would say she was pissed off by that news given the fact that she liked using her so much as her meal ticket.
She stated that she wanted to raise the child alone, without any help from the him. This gained her publicly sympathy. But was short lived when she asked for him to buy her a house, because all the Blackmailing money she had got before hand from him. By Blackmailing him wasn't enough to buy a house and she wanted living money to top off. Yea, Can you say she went back on her own words.

I copied in pasted only and my notes are in different color below.
http://www.allkpop.com/article/2016/04/courts-give-ruling-on-kim-hyun-joong-and-chois-fight-over-their-child
Subsequent the plea date, both Kim Hyun Joong and Choi's sides revealed that "the paternity lawsuit will be retracted." Kim Hyun Joong's attoreny Lee Jae Man told Star News, "The paternity lawsuit [between Kim Hyun Joong and Choi] has wrapped up."
I think the Choi family here must really of hated the judge on this day

SEE ALSO: Kim Hyun Joong files a new complaint

Lee elaborated, "The courts ruled that [Kim Hyun Joong and Choi] will have joint custodial rights over the child. The child's caretaker was not designated. Though the parental rights have been ruled as joint custody, there could be another lawsuit from the plaintiff's side for sole custodial rights over the child. We foresee another lawsuit related to the parental rights in the future." 
Please note that the cases that he has against her, if found guilty she goes to jail/ or prison they are different
The lawsuit from Choi for alimony, parental/caretaker rights, and child support was withdrawn based on the court's stance that they could not make a ruling on the lawsuit as it was filed not in Choi's but the child's name.
Choi wanted money as she would a ex-wife, she wanted full rights and child support. Question: has she ever had a honest job in her life?
Choi's attoreny, Sun Jong Moon of Sun and Partners, reportedly stated, "The paternity lawsuit has terminated, and the rest of [the issues] will be taken care of at a later time."

Kettle Black by: J.A. Burror

I myself was the shy good in school and I was the butt of the mean kids as well. I hated the boy’s at my school. Because I was over weight and with that came the fat joke’s. The guy’s at school would always tell me if I lost weight they would date me. That was a mean joke in its self I thought. But I was pretty to them but yet not the norm of what a guy should “go for” in there head at that time. I can’t help would I find sexy or handsome, neither can someone else.
I hate saying that say that look’s don’t matter at all because they do. They get that first Hi, the first date, the first everything and tell you really get to know a person.

You wouldn’t of wrote me if I was a total dog to you and I you. But what makes this different is that you and I want to get to know one another and to see if it’s meant for more then friends. We want to take it slow I guess most of the world to see us at doing that right now. Because we haven’t had sex nor made out all the time, yet.

It’s wired to me I’ve had sex with guy’s before and I’ve never been married, but was raised with the religion
telling me that no man would ever want a girl that’s already given it up. Doesn't matter if you were willing or unwilling. As tho you have nothing to give your lover, your friend, your partner in life. The mother or the Father of your children. Then nothing more then to have sex. Yes I do believe it should be with to people that love each other. I know I say that but yet have never had that myself. It’s me calling the kettle black

Medical sic hospital by: J.A. Burror

 I always felt different and didn't know why. You see I always felt that I was the outcast, nobody saw. I was 11 years old, yes when my feelings were becoming uncontrollable for me to happen. When I was 17 I was put in a Hospital to seek help. my mind was so twisted that in my head I thought I deserved it-all. I became crazy over killing myself . Why?, I really never dealt with stress/ pain for well growing up. Because of this I learned to put the wrong tools to lean on at use, when I needed a release.
 (Please know this is me writing of how I felt looking back, not how I feel to who I am today)

 It’s a game like ‘Life-Monopoly’ you chose, to never end the-bade ling with are self’s, is it wrong to ask who will win? With those odds it’s pretty good you would think a real no brainier. But with one chance to be happy, you lose-you lose your life. What’s the point to only live your life halfway, to never truly know or feel loved. What it’s like to be in love and live your dream. How about to feel your heart ripped out, and give up every time you might get there-make it out in the world. I always looked forward to death as a thank you gift. My way to thank everyone around me was not to have them put up with me no longer. I thought in my head, I mean I really believed there was no way out but to take my own life.

 Never mind the faith tells you if you commit suicide you’ll never live again. In heaven, on a paradise on earth, no you get nothing but the endless touchier from living in your own skin. Death was always a place to be, a peaceful new world. I just had to visit one day. A place to leave all your problems be hide and no one tries to hurt you any longer. To grow be on all the hater’s of this earth could have, for a deep sleep of heavenly dreams. Still I can't help but realize how selfish I was to try to leave before my time.

 Welcoming death can become a drug, it is inviting the idea of it is perfect. Why are so many terrified to close one chapter and open everyone’s destiny? I tried to kill myself with a boodle of Pill’s. I wanted peace, the pain within to somehow lessen. I cried a lot for reasons that were unknown to me tell now. You see I had so much pain inside that I didn’t want anyone to see let alone know about, it was my life. It happened to me not anyone but. I thought by holding everything inside that somehow I was saving myself more pain. That only if people knew-my family knew, that nobody would look at me same. I couldn’t be myself anymore, not realizing at that time I didn’t fully know who I was. Only what I so wanted to be and couldn’t. Nothing was worth it at this point in my life; I saw no reason to try for anything. Being happy or doing something, having something just because I dreamed for the longest time. It wasn’t my life it was untouchable to dream for better, anything different wasn’t my destiny just a nice fancy when your asleep. I mean I never really saw a real reason to live-there was no happily ever; no crystal ball that says life will get better.

 I tried to talk about it, unaware I had been leaving sign’s all threw my life time. Saying out loud and screaming, for someone to hear me. Stop what I yet couldn’t bring myself to speak of. Only dreaming of a different life and everything with it. I was a unhappy child sparked by a family secret. Wanting a different family wasn’t me really wanting one. But only I had come with terms of the one I had, understood reason’s that gave me more questions than answers. Family is family, we all know what a family is supposed to be and act like. Not all of us get that, I have a great family a hand full I share DNA with and a great number I don’t. But none of us will say we are not family. I know a lot of people find help and strength with talking over there problems on a couch. But I don’t because every time I had in the past, I always got unpleasant news. I was put in a medical sic hospital when I was 17, a month from 18 years old. I was there for 9 days only but they tried to keep me longer. My health insurance at the time wouldn’t cover it any longer.

 I remember the day before I went to the hospital; I was over at my friend Stacey’s house as I did every week almost. We worked for her Mother-cleaning apartments, but never got anything for doing he work. I was outside cleaning up a mess; someone had broken the plastic glass on a fire extinguisher box. I started to pick it all up and something came over me, not like I even thought about want I was doing. I just started to work a peace back and forth tell I saw real blood. You would think that would of stopped me but I kept doing it, trying to feel anything. It was as if my heart was cold because I was numb to the pain. Stacey saw my wrists and told me if I didn’t tell my parents she would. So I told them, wasn’t a big deal they knew I started trying when I was 11year’s old to kill myself. It was a family secret no one talked about. I went home with them that day and I was told the famous words “nobody has to know about this”. I called someone into my bedroom that night to talk to him; I was tired of feeling lost-not being able to find my shadow. He tried to say that we could talk the next day, but I didn’t know if I would have the guts to tell him anything the next day. I told him I didn’t want to be in the same religion as they were, that I wasn’t happy. I was told “Monday morning we’ll get you some help”.

 Now see it from my view for a moment. I would over dose on anything I got my hands on starting at 11years old and through the middle of my 18th year. I always got told: “you didn’t do it right”, “better try harder next time”, “do you really hate us that much”. Now on the chance you’re reading this and know someone in the situation I was in. Don’t make them feel like they have to try harder because you really don’t care. It makes the suicidal person aim higher, meaning more pills-other ways of killing themselves. Because in their mind why live in a world that hates you. And to finely get help, it was without cause in my book. Because if I really needed help wouldn’t I of had it by now, I thought. But at that state of mind your mind will play tricks on you, make believe the wrong thighs right.

  After a few days in the mental hospital having a sociological report example wrote down, I had had 2 mental brake down’s and by the way I was going I was going for my third. He told me I was addicted to committing suicide and that by the end of the week I was going to go home for the day only. Just to see if I could handle the in varmint I was living in. the moment I came in to the house I went to the bathroom to see if there were any pills, I could take. I was out of control when it came down to day to day living. I do believe my story’s have as much as most, not as much as some, and very few don’t have anything they can relate to with most of these story’s of the life I’ve had thus this far. I went back after I believe it was only about 3 to 5 hours I was outside the Sic Ward. When I got back I had talks with the group, Dr the next morning when I got up I was told by the Dr he wanted to put me in a foster home for a while. Mind you, I’m still not even a month from being 18 years old at this point. I knew if I was to go I’d have no place to live in a short time. I begged him to let me stay with my family, but I knew in the end he had the choice not me. On the last day, I heard the doctor tell my Father I still needed help to deal with my problems I had and that it wasn’t by choice I was leaving them. I saw a doctor on the outside and they both seemed the same not really asking but telling what I have or have had. As if, they know my heart and head as if it were there’s. I saw no brake threw if that’s what they wanted me to have, they failed. I did however get a lot of pills, funny your “addicted to killing yourself” so why not give that person stronger drug’s to do it. There is no logic in doping me up to fit some norm I’m supposed to be. I understand the whole it’s bad to kill yourself in part, but I don’t get why it’s perfectly alright to live a lie. Someone else dream of who you should be, or to never try to better yourself is out of my reason to understand. I finely stopped trying to end it all, not because the pills worked or the doctor was so great. The hospital didn’t scare me; I really wish it would of. I wasted a lot of time on my addiction. Yes, I do call it an Addiction; I got to the point I had to try to kill myself no less than 3 times a week. It was controlling my-everything; my world went around the next than to try. Horror movies were great; they give you so many ideals. I was in the late part of my 18th year when I realized if it hasn’t happen, yet-it wouldn’t happen by my hands.That is what started to change my thinking of  suicide and with it came the start of a reason I found to go on.

Moving to Arizona by:J.A. Burror

When I left California to move to Arizona, a place I swore I would never return. Let me clarify what I had just said. I grew up in Arizona, so heat I know about hot weather. But mostly what I'm talking about is the life changing, forever tarnishing a child to grow up different. I was born a girl, so get that out of your head and please stay on point with me here. It's not easy for me to talk about my childhood. I hated it, feeling unsafe, knowing you have no right or power to fight back. I was a child and yes I mean, if we are on the same wave link at this moment. You would be dead on, I was Molested by someone. Close to the family, I use to call him a Uncle even. But all those memories I closed off in my mind. Didn't want to, but can't remember from the time I was of certain age and before. I blocked everything out, with the bad as well the good. So on a trip back to Arizona one year I slept over at what I thought was family and a new found husband, but was a first love for her. He made a pass at me, I was told I was lying about the sex advances. But when a grown man "suppose to be a man" sits next to what is their Niece and puts his hand on her boob and asks if they want to have sex. I call that a sex advance on a 15 year old girl.

After awhile of him drinking and me on the move to get away from him. He got tried of the game we were playing and left to sleep next to his wife at that time. What gets me still is, How could she not hear what was happening? Was she death or he all her medication really put her out like he said. Or did she not even care because her first husband was a piece of work himself with a line of victims. The next morning I packed up and as if she was ready for me to leave at once. She came out and said to put my stuff in the car we are going and her husband wasn't going to be around for awhile. I went back early and when I got in my Grandparents house I went to were my brother was and started to cry to him. I told him not to tell anyone because I felt I did something wrong. I now know I did nothing, but still parts of the family did treat me as a liar and are close family got divided. My brother rushed out of the room, unable to hold it in of his anger. He told my mom and she told my dad which we left back home every soon after. No charges were put up against him, because my aunts first husband was the one that molested me and now her second husband. I knew no matter what are close family wasn't going to last. My grandparents were even in his spell and saw only a child that was lying even with being raised around them. They knew I was raised to tell the truth and knew I didn't lie like that ever in my hole life. But children I guess are different then grandchildren in the order of things. See my family all the family, weekly and yet they fully discounted my truth for lies coming from someone that only just interned their lives. And There were calls after that but everyone was the same, they wanted me to admit to lying around the truth.  I get she wanted her second husband to be some great guy, even with his shady past. She wanted, needed to believe he was better then her first husband ever was.
I remembered my childhood, overwhelmed by everything. I couldn't sleep, couldn't move that night, I was shaking because of the shock on my heart.

When we got back to California it was found out that I wasn't alone in my trauma as a child. We started to learn more about what had been going on as I grew up. I for one thought my childhood was normal at that time. As most children do that are hurt in abusive ways. Given the fact that a Abuser is part of the family or said to be part of the family. Can leave the victims unwilling to share their story's. Giving the Abuser full right in their minds to keep up with what they were doing or planning on doing to their victims. I never spoke to my aunt again after that, after I heard he was dead then I said hi. But I couldn't being myself to say anything to her before. I wasn't sorry, I never told her I was sorry for her loss. I never and will never lie about that truth that happened. But I let the anger I had towards her about her second husband go. Because my family was now all talking again after his passing. I never wished him dead, I just wanting him to grow up. To be a better as a person, I thought I might of wanted to much. But that is just me thinking. So when my Grandparents came to visit and I spoke to her it was along talk, good talk. A talk nothing about her past loves and like what we use to as I grew up. She was the aunt I did things with and she always took me around in her car and I slept over at her house all the time.

At that time I knew I needed a change for everything. Nothing was working out for me. Not life of my family. Only just I have a hard time explaining it in words is all. I was in the same rut and nothing seemed to be getting better. I had all these thane’s I wanted to magically happen to me, without the work of doing anything. I always knew where I was meant to be and yet the life I’ve had up in tell in my 30’s, I haven’t had anything how I wished for. As a child dreaming, I wanted love-that’s a given. I wanted, but more than that felt I had to be a singer. There was never anything else I could do. All my day dream’s never failed to capture my imagination, doing different things in my career. One than always remained, I was always the singer, on stage in every one of my fancy’s. I went to Arizona with my grandparents. my aunt asked me to stay with her for a few weeks. After all the time I said yes, I was happy to put the past in the past and I wanted it to stay there. But as I saw the house, first walked threw the doors. I remembers everything again. I just had to deal with it and knew it well enough to keep my mouth shut about anything of the nature. That I was in a state were I only had ones that would take me as a liar over anything. That is how I saw it, from different works from that time and in the next months after. It was still try, they really thought so little of me. In my state of feelings I was a good target to catch and pull in, to try to mold in anyway. I didn't notice what was starting to happen. I started to meet with people I was brought up to and they would all tell me different things. I remember being told I would end up getting killed if I ever moved back in with my parents. I recall being told to be a sex slave, down the street. I had a lot of different things that never added up to her caring about me or my safety.

I first moved off of a rash choice and that it was, I had good times. I started to go places I wouldn't never wanted to. At the beginning it was okay, because I was looking to meet with people and make friends. But then it was a habit I hated to be apart of. I went with someone so I was never alone. But yet I hated the way it seemed as I was being treated. Going to a place only because you are told and pushed to go, that you dislike. Made me feel worthless, a pone and nothing more to this person I was always having to go with. This control they seem to have over me, didn't stop there. I had a job and they were fully aware of my income, even my bank. When I didn't tell of my hours, They knew where to track me down to see me. My work there was a friend that kept my work schedule no secret. I started having problems at work, not doing my job but I 'm not use to people just showing up out of the blue to see you and leave. I started to hide my true feelings from them because I felt they would be used to only hurt me and the ones I love. I started to cry and inverted within myself. I acted the part as I was told as normal that it all was good, and that we were cool. But truth, you can't hide the pain you feel from the lying to yourself. This person knew every minute where I was and it was unnerving for me. My income, what I gave them for rent wasn't enough. It was never enough, but always had to be in cash. But if not, they would have to own up to renting to me. I started looking for another place but money was tight. I could only move with help if I got it from my family from another state to send. Because the paychecks I got always got spent and I was tired of it. Turned out it was cheaper to live in another place closer to my work and I had a few co-worker that knew of my problems I was having so they were willing to move in with me.

I wanted to follow my dreams. viewing this move as just a start to me being fully on my own. And working at my desire, which was at that time to be a Country Singer. I wrote mostly a country style, but over the years the music within me have changed. As well as the country music I once remembered hearing on the radio. It isn't the same, how could it be? We all change, why not the music that is being made as well? I stopped wanting to be a country singer but still love to sing. That few weeks turned in to a mind control, growth process. I went through, all the emotion pain, I wouldn't change. My Grandpa died when I was there. The was that I saw every week and slept over there house all the time. As a child passed away and I loved my time with him, nothing would have stopped me from going through that pain. If I knew that is what I had to in order to see him again.

But I really did find out a lot about how different people that I seem to have always worn rose colored glasses with. I saw them for who they really were, had become to me. Disheartening by it all. Not wanting to give up once I made that choice to stay. Feeling I made a mistake and unwilling to opt to it. Knowing that there would be some that would remind me and not let it go. I viewed the moving was a test for me, in forgiveness. What did I have to forgive, and Who am I meaning? I know now I was wrong for so long, I believed everyone can change. But some just don't want to change for themselves. And in those cases I can't help them. I stayed for some time after my grandpa's passing. Something I felt I needed to do, I don't know if I helped. But all the problems just got worse and moreover I had little money to meet with the demand. I called my mom in tears and was going to ask for money to help me move away. But she wanted me to move back, I just said yes without a second thought.

I went through everything I owned and cut down everything. I was told I was stupid and that the child I grew to love so dear was told in front of me that 'she doesn't love you, or she wouldn't leave you'. I stayed with my brother for a time, because my grandma was going through a lot of pain. And the family was back to not speaking to everyone. Felt it was my fault, but I knew better this time around dealing with her.I first started doubting my choice to move in with my aunt but she spoke of her first husband. Very highly a bit and then downed him all in the same breath in seemed. 'I remember the girls leaving where he was all were crying' This is what she said to me, I wanted to jump out of that car and run away from her. She just told me she knew. Something was amiss on him, but yet never once thought about family. I was support to be blood but that day I doubt we ever were real. That she ever cared even slightly for me in her heart. She knew what I was going through and didn't say anything, didn't do anything. But choose to blame me at every turn. I started to hate her so much as time went by it only grow and I knew I needed to get out. Or the vision of my death her friend saw of me would be right, but it would be if I stayed.

Merging into One by:J.A. Burror

Been out of my mind as of late, and I say that to not involve me with the insane. Unable to think clearly has always been a false of mine. I try to see other view points but on some am fully unaware of what they are talking about. This is just what I've been dealing with so as always take it or not. I am going through a lot of things, meaning I have a lot on my plate. Yes I dished some of it out for myself. But now wish to simplify my life. I had big plans of all the blogs I started, if you were there at the start. I cut back to what I have now, but even still am finding I'm pushing myself beyond my limits. I have reasons that have me rest more then in the past and knowing that my time can't be spread to thin. I need rest, I hope you all will understand. I have said a lot about my past health issues that started within days of having a weight loss surgery. Now I will tell you it's been over 7 years now and still every few months, every few weeks it's ongoing something new. I go to Doctors/ Specialist for health problems and it's monthly. Some can go to the Doctor when they have a cold, I go because they tell me the list of my problems is so big that they can't treat me for everything all at once. Over load on Medication, if only a past Doctor I had knew about the word "SIDE EFFECTS" then that would have stopped some not all. I know a lot of great Doctors now, not the best way to meet people.

I'm Merging this blog you are reading now, or looking through at the moment with:

Unrelated Thoughts And Thinking

  http://unrelatedthoughtsandthinking.blogspot.com/    

I am sending all my stuff over from that blog to this blog. So Brace yourself for the craziness of my post sometimes. I really don't want to bore anyone with a sob story of mine all the time. Nor do I wish to fake being happy when clearly I'm not in that shape to be. I want to run that race but at times it's a bit overwhelming having faith you can be so strong to look back and say: yeah, I did that, that was me. I picked this blog to keep and trash the other, maybe not that term. But you get the justification I was making. I looked at both the stats on both blogs, and found I have more readers here. I want to keep you happy, or at lest be a person that you would give a short amount of your time to. Just be reading my words is so meaningful to me, really. As a girl that grew up wanting to be a singer, not for the fame, but to be heard. Noticed for me having my own thoughts. You taking the time out for me and anyway is amazing for me. Thank You!!! 

Always by keeping this blog I can write the same I guess. But different in away, because The other blog I needed time to look into a lot of what I posted and then some I wrote off hand of a story thought I had years ago for a book. I am in noway SCHOOLED for being a writer. I just love to write, it's a passion that fills me and I can't breathe without. I do have other blogs yes, I have: 
 

Korean Dramas I Like With Others

 http://korean-dramas-i-like-with-others.blogspot.com/
Which is a blog I put together, can't say I made because I only re post from YouTube. I saw on Twitter that a lot of people were asking for where to watch and what kinds of Dramas to watch. This is a list of 1-16 or whatever, I was trying to be full in all the post. But found no matter how I searched I couldn't find full Dramas of different shows, that's why some have 3-parts/ 6-parts to them. I am trying to find the English subtitles but have found some people up loud a voice over to the Drama go tweak the voices of the actors.
This is a blog I am sorry to say I haven't been on in sometime. Do to personal reasons I haven't watched Dramas of any and have been sad at thoughts of moving on with a smile, or laugh on my face. When I know another will never share in those things again. I will get back to posting from YouTube back on to the blog. So I hope you you there and find out a Drama pulls you in. Because that's what they do to me.

Korean Food I'm Trying

 http://learningtocookkoreanfood.blogspot.com/
This is a blog I really only put together for me, because I couldn't find recipes I once had. Because I wanted to try so much more then before. I was shocked when others started to visit here. I got bold one day and posted a recipe of my own and it was viewed kindly. And I  Thank You for that. I love to cook and it's a way to distress, but learning within it. Korean Food is the food I love. If I have to pin point what I would want as a style of food for life hands downs, I found it. I know there's so many different styles of cooking in this great big world, but I made my choice. I also post to the blog from my own YouTube account, but unknown still if it's best just to write it out in a post without YouTube on this blog. 
 

Trinity Faytem Lyricist

http://trinityfaytemlyricist.blogspot.com/
 I'm a writer as I have said countless of times. I am what is better known as a Lyricist, meaning I write words. Without the melody that makes the song complete. I have been writing and have been with a few company's, but nothing to brag about. I still need help so that's why I post from my diary. I share so much in my words that I know rereading them myself it can be a lot to take in. I write from my view, my memories, my pain, my story's, my desires. I also write from another point because if my heart gets moved I can't stop my hand or for that matter my mouth from singing, writing it out. Of how I feel at that moment, what that story or that person is making me feeling in that given second.

Poems I Have Wrote

 http://trinityfaytempoems.blogspot.com/
Poetry has been in my life long before I wrote my first song Lyric. I use to have a normal journal I would keep. My school thought it would be better for me to shed. So of my thoughts of and with it came secrets. I held on to so tight but yet was to never share. I shared within the pages my fears and came with it my disappointment at who I was. For some my words were a bit to truthful and was thought wrong of. My feelings, my thoughts. Yeah right, when you are a child you don't have those same right I found. Poetry was a vice I found that I could still write it out and yet it oddly enough. It became my secret code over the years. So I never had to truly let anyone in. Wrong I learned that throughout my years, I was wrong because I shared so much more that way. I posted on Twitter, yes it's Twitter again. But found people for real liked what I had to say, my followers were going up a bit so it made me so pleased. I just wanted to share more but found it hard to share everything I wanted to without having anything other then Twitter to go to. I do have blogs out there in INTERNET SPACE that I had years and years ago. I have a Poetry book and I write freely with the poems I write. 

P.S. I Write All My Words and My Thoughts, My Views Are Mine!!!

Music I Listen To Kpop and other 

http://musicilistentokpopandother.blogspot.com/
I love Kpop music/ Korean Pop Music. I do have ones I favor but try not to have it show. Have seen some people that come looking for music and that's all. So when you are only repeating the same song, others might not visit. I voice my thoughts of who I favor, you could say it's really not a hidden type of respect I feel. These are Groups and Singers that I have heard and like their music. I hold all in high regards, do to the fact they all had the guts that I lacked in my youth to go after my dreams. And lets be fair Talent is Talent, I give them that. I love hearing new music and in whatever mood I'm in I go towards dance or slow beats. 

Sorry for taking up a mountain of time but wanted to be sure to post this. The other blogs there's noway really for me to downsize. I have studying I'm putting it in my head it's not a maybe, But it's a HAVE TO DAILY. My studying in learning Hangul is coming along, if you counted the years I've been trying to know what I do now. It's Just Sad, King Sejong assured his people that "a wise man can acquaint himself with them before the morning is over; a stupid man can learn them in the space of ten days”.
 I take it you would have called me the city idiot. I have no excuse for my learning. I do now view the way I was learning to be wrong. I was trying to jump in the ocean when my feet didn't know if I'd get frostbit. 

 By the way I put it so anyone can leave me a comment if you like not just those of you with blogs of your own

David and his gold digger by:J.A. Burror

Okay my thoughts lately have gone back in time. To a story of which I was in only by the fact that it was within my family. I know I wrote it outright so please forgive all the mistakes. I was in a rush to let it out of within me that I hated that I carried it within.
I mean by calling Gold-Digger, that their was a person that it seemed after someone in my family only for his income. And his 25 year marriage ended. Along with her marriage that both had kids. But David was the only one wealthy and the new family seemed to enjoy that. This is just one of the reasons why I hate a person that I have named number of times in different ways, for being every bit of who she is. She reminds me of the person that broke up a family.

David and his gold digger 2nd wife My uncle however was the business mastermind. Buying companies in need and turning them around, he was something to fear in the business world. But he also was very stupid with in his personal madders, that over shined at times the genesis he was. David never went through collage to get all the many degrees he would say he had. But he did have to work very hard covering up his lie’s of them, that at times I wondered myself was it all worth it. I’m told before he had money he didn’t really cheat o his wife/ my aunt that much. But money always comes with a price of some potion. Your family isn’t just who you were raised with, now it’s everyone looking to ride it out on your sweat and tears. Your friends, you constantly have to ask yourself who they are. So you can feel for the wealthy man that tries to find love, even while still marred. You have to ask yourself if these girls/ I say girls because I real woman wouldn’t pull that shit. What type of morels could they have, let alone if they were marred themselves and the complete lack of respect to all in the party. There family, the husband they made vowed to love and honor, and have not an ounces of disregard for anyone but there selfish feelings. The children if any, they now have a different outlook on marriage and self-respect now. I mean truly how does one get over a parent not just betraying the other parent, but the whole family. When does the cheater that about another. To stop and see were there actions will lead everyone. I’ve spoke to a few members of broken families, and all have some issues with trust. David’s family however played a big price for his success as far as time and loyalty. He was giving, kind, and spiritual up in tell his death. On the other hand, David was a liar, cheat, and home wrecker. Ending his first marriage with my aunt Sandy, I’m sorry but I feel did him in, marring a woman that he cheated on my aunt with. That the other woman cheated on her husband to be with David. It wasn’t that he was some man of the year or sexiest man alive; he found other then my aunt Sandy a group of gold diggers where ever he turned. David never really hung out with his family after his second marriage to his mistress. He was always traveling and we all thought having a good old time as so we all believed. I feel it might have all been in vain, all he had to give up purely for someone that would do as he did to another to him if the price was right. His second wife was adamant about the fact that everyone had to believe the story. The lie of her perfect family and the wonderful man. He had 2 grown step children with his second wife and some of them I guess wanted back payment for what David missed when he didn’t know them. He had two children that he loved dearly and at the time 3 grandchildren. His first wife Sandy completely devoted to him. To stay threw all his moments of distrust, and games. However, you didn’t get that at his funnel, only which his life started with the second wife. There were no kids, no grandchildren. Other then what his second wife came to the marriage with. You heard about all David’s many a compliments that were faults of course. All the school’s he went to and all he had learned thru it all. You heard about his boat and house, mainly his money. I went for my uncle-the old David with his first wife. The one I knew as loving, and would do anything to help someone out of a bind. Not who he became years before his death, the one I grew up with going to his house every summer. I went also for my Father; they had issued but tried to work them out in their own way in the end. I remember sitting and listening to all the lie’s that were said about this man, that’s body was lifeless now. I couldn’t believe everyone eating up this bullshit given to them as if it were cake. Shrilly made David out to be nothing more than her puppet, his life was worth more. Everyone deserves more respect when they died even the lie’s. You just don’t, you don’t lie about the dead. That’s too scary, suppose to be untouchable to even mildly good human beans. Yet I wish I could be there when someone makes a joke out of her life. Make’s her death bed be full of nothing of truth, but miner thane’s and all else lie’s of who she was. The other thing’s you never do, it’s wrong on so many levels. Flirt with your dead husbands best friend, now what is that. Did she really need another payday from a person? No one is that good in bed, please. Even if you pay for it could she of been that good, and in a lot of ways David did pay for it. I guess because she got everything from him and left nothing to his own blood children. What a girl, a woman have to earn the right to be called a woman. You’re not a man or woman because your age, you have to act like one.
All the while I sat next to my Grandma that viewed David as her favorite child then it went to the girls. No big secret ever that's how she kept it. So when he died you can only imagine her sadness. She kept saying as she cried "That's not my son, Why aren't they talking about my son"? At the end alot of the family couldn't talk to his second wife.

The Last Goodbye by:J.A. Burror

Okay so the funeral is under way, and it's going to be big. As it should, because my Grandpa was dearly loved. He was known within his faith so it's no shock to me to see the warmth of those in his faith coming out.

Everyday for the past so many months was all about different health problems. They tend to pile on to one another. I hate when it seems that bad always follows bad news. But in some cases it's the truth. We find are selves in so much pain that is left only to ask questions of why and how it all came to be.

There were family that truth is, I haven't spoken with for years. We just don't talk, not because we can't just we choose not too. Faith is very big with parts of my family so talking to a non-believer isn't always thought to be a good idea. It's hard when the clicks are within your own family. Sad in my view point, but yet I'm someone that believes we all have a right to think and believe how we want within are hearts. The only one that can truly judge us is God. I know I dislike a lot of people for different reasons. And I even hate a few for reasons of my own. I can't understand views of some, I don't get the actions of some. I don't know if I will ever sway to see in a different light.

All the pictures were out, showing my Grandpa so happy. As I really remember him always with a smile on his face. Old pictures and newer ones. I was on the broad as well, a picture about 8 years ago. I have lost about 200 pounds and was walking with a cane. So not what anyone remembered me as. I was the fat child, that grew up fatter then I was before. Sad when your own aunt asks: Who you are. Even when you're in the family sitting area. So many of my family had to take a double tack on me. But also my brother, and my sister in law they never even met.

People came and I was shocked by a few that seem to have cared far more then I would have even them credit for. Only hiring family, saying you don't hire family. Only adds to a added problem that really never leaves. I saw so many in so much pain, trying to keep it together the whole day. but couldn't fight back the tears in the beginning. As it started even the Speaker was having a noticeably had time forming his own words. back tracking because he seem to have misplaced something or forgot something.

I was planning on not crying, now don't think me as a Bitch or Evil thing. I just didn't know if I still had any tears left in me. I have been cry so much and it's not a big question of why. I have told about a lot of my pain and my health. So I cry a lot, my emotions are not my own when I think about someone of who he's going through. I cry with others, just thinking about different story's we have had and how we mean to one another. You see it's not that far off when I say I didn't know if I could. My health is always on my mind, I wish it weren't. But it never leaves me, each day is a test my body seems to give me. Waking up, everyday I wake up is a good thing. I just wish I wouldn't have to be the one waking up when others seems to be leaving.

After we all got together, got a place big enough to hold us all. And it was nice, there was a sharing mic and all the kids would go up and say how they missed him. Story's came out of how people met and I really got to know even more about what kind of person my Grandfather was.