So it seems I'm in a waiting game, feels like yet again. Took the test and waiting for results. But I fear no matter what they are. My health problems won't be solved. I really have no clue how to react. This was another big one. And Although I feel that I have a great team to help me. I'm still left unsure about the next moment.
I went on my Facebook account, to look around. Saw so much coming from my Friends on there. This was a great support system that is not around me. But for someone I Respect in the up most of ways. They share pictures and story's and it's a great place. By the strength coming from so many Friends and Followers off Twitter and throughout each of my blogs.
I get a warmth coming when I get a message on Twitter. I meet such great people and I have met such great people. Yes at times I have had to Block a few, but I have my reasoning's for doing so. I dislike being bullied or feeling another is bullied. I block the ones I notice to dislike me for whatever reason. I block the ones that bully other followers, friends. And I will Block you if you hate, bully, badmouth ones I respect. It's no secret I hold Kim Hyun Joong in high respect's. I don't like fight in total but when I deem something, someone worth fighting for. I have no problems going for the fight. I will Block anyone that sides with (Choi Hye Mi), let me explain. I know that name doesn't seem to only belong to the Blackmailer that I am referring too. But who I am talking about is that Gold digger in a skirt that saw a big fish to take from. I have wrote about this in the past and fear it might be on going. I hate to hate anyone but I just can't help myself. With this chick, when I see her or hear anything about her. She turns the best day, into not great. So I try not to give her the time of day, realizing I have to concentrate on more important things that she will never be 'to me'.
If you are wondering more about this person/ Girl. Never will call a woman, real women don't act in her way. The actions she has shown is what I am basing my belief off, the Lying game she has been playing putting a child in the middle is another reason I can't stand still with my thoughts. I really come with no filter with her in mind. If you ask me out right what I think, how I view her and her family to be. I will not sugarcoat it for anyone. And if she is one that I speak with and sees how I hate her. Someone that she has never met and would bet never heard of. I would still hate her no matter what she would have to say. In life a human is viewed in different ways. we all have to choose what we want others to remember us as. I will forever remember her as a [Blackmailing, Gold Digger, Hell Pint on using a child for cash, Fame Hungry enough to try to ride anthers coat tails to be noticed in anyway, becoming a pone for others to play and have take the fall, as with her family planing for a big payday by doing all to another; as well as Abusing this person both in private and in public.]
That all being said, I am trying my best to only forces on the good. And the great out come I plan for myself.
As with all of you I'm sure you all have goals, dreams, plans that you all wish to take part in. I hope we all get to were we see us to be. Life would be so perfect if everyone was happy with just being happy with there lives given to them. But then again you might say that life could only become perfect if we choose to be happy. And forgo the hate in the world. We all have are lives to live, that's the point but I went all around about it.
I feel good, really great to have ones notice me and take time out to read my words. You are awesome, whomever you are!!! I have read a lot by messages with Twitter, sorry I kinda speak to people on Twitter. I have others but I do have a issue with organizing my own thoughts and often times space with things. Might call me a slacker but that wouldn't be would I am.
I was having a hard time falling asleep last night and I guess it was all nerves. The test started at about 10 and didn't last long, blood work. But I know what the test was for that got my attention. I know it's to make the patient aware but still. I am always like; Do you have to tell me what you think I have? Then comes back I don't and I worried for nothing, it's such a waist of time and energy.On my part to build up the worst case in your mind. Then it's nothing of the sort, blessing but not. You end up giving way to the negative thoughts that arise. So you end up left with, questions and questions that never seem to have been fully answered.
How am I going to get through this?
What is wrong with me that lead to this point?
Will I still be okay, even with having this?
Then once you find out for absolute. Your questions change to become more in-detailed.
What do I do now?
How can I get over this?
Is there anything, nothing I can do about this?
Where to find help to treat this?
And finely you ask, or you might already know.
Is there a Cure?
And if yes How and When and Where can you get this Cure???
It's like you wake up one day at you realize time flew by. Passing you, Leaving you in so many ways. We can't be everything all at once. We have no power to do what only God does. We are left with only the moments we are given. And in those moments it's are choice to pave the way to are wants. Desiring to be set free from limitation, I would fall in the description.
Having Besties is wonderful at times when you feel like caving. They kick you in the butt, to pull you right back up. No second thoughts come to mind. They are what they should be, Best Friends. Wanting to not let out when having a hard time. Is still a new one I'm learning. When it comes to real friends that plan to stay and not leave when the money ran out. The party's stopped and I found I had nothing more to say. Talking about the same work and party's that you spend your money on all the time. Never really getting to know the other. I guess we all might be at fault in some way. I stopped looking at the past as the end of the world for me. Yes devastating as it was to have had such a life as I have. Today I am me, and How can I say I would change me?
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